Secret 1. Focus on the good
Focusing on the good is a powerful tool for staying connected. Every marriage has strengths and weaknesses. Whatever we put our mental and emotional energy into grows. When we pay attention to the good we can turn a negative situation around. Practice: Identify what you like about your spouse and think about it often.
Secret 2. Learn to be lovingly assertive
Learn to fight fair and don’t expect your spouse to read your mind. Being loving and assertive gives balance. Need to talk? Not before work or bedtime or when your spouse is tired or hungry. Practice: Plan a conversation with a time limit (20) minutes. Request the conversation with one or two options and schedule it.
Secret 3. Show an act of kindness everyday.
Kindness serves as a glue that keeps you connected. It creates warm and loving thoughts because you feel cared about. Kindness is always a quality in healthy long-lasting marriages. Practice: Think about a kind gesture that is important to your spouse. Do it every day for one week. Don’t bring it up – let your actions speak.
Secret 4. Nurture Affection
Connection thrives on affection - you feed it when you hug, kiss, hold hands, or cuddle. Learn what is important to your spouse and do it. Tell your spouse what you like. Practice: Nurture your marriage every morning with touch. Give a hug or kiss before leaving the house – say I love you and look at each other.